Wadde hadde dudde da? Heat 2 of Germany’s 2025 national selection, Chefsache ESC2025 - Wer singt für Deutschland? (because “Unser Lied für Basel” didn’t get across the imperativeness of the task at hand, I suppose) took place two weeks ago, and by this point, the finalists have already been determined by Germany’s Eurovision King Midas, Stefan Raab, and his panel of fellow judges (singer and actress Yvonne Catterfeld; TV host Elton - the same one with the unenviable task of letting Europe know Germany gave 12 to “Tattoo” in 2023 - and a rotating guest judge; in this heat’s case, singer-songwriter Johannes Oerding). However, because of this thing called “life,” I wasn’t able to treat Chefsache as the chefsache (that’s “top priority,” in case you didn’t know) it maybe deserved to be. Or did it? We shall see. At the very least, while I can’t watch the full show, I can at least watch the performances and can let you all know how this second round of German hopefuls did. Lass uns gehen!
1. Adina - “In the Air Tonight” (original-ish song): It’s worth mentioning that artists had the option of either performing a cover of an existing song or performing an original. Adina decided to split the difference and created a dance-pop song that remixes the hook from Phil Collins’ 1981 classic. The wordy, lyrical verses and the booming, techno, altered version of the iconic chorus may have been a bit too much going on at once, and with a shaky vocal performance to boot, Adina was the first act eliminated from contention tonight. Should’ve had a drum solo.
2. Jaln - “Lose Control” (Teddy Swims cover): Alarm bells might have sounded for anyone looking at Jaln’s performance, as the set-up with a bunch of floodlights gave immediate Ann-Sophie flashbacks. Fortunately, a killer house band and his own charisma was all Jaln needed to nail Teddy Swims’ retro-soul slow-burner/almost guaranteed talent-show staple for similarly attractive dudes capable of decent vocal runs for years to come. He could be a bit shaky, but he connected to the song and was interacting well with the band, jury, and audience - all important for conveying the charisma you’re capable of putting over on the big stage. Helping his chances was a guitar solo climax, because if Sam Ryder taught us anything, unexpected guitar solos are the best guitar solos. Something about him got a hold on the judges, because Jaln was the first act advanced to the semi-final round tonight, where he will perform his potential Eurovision entry.
3. Leonora - “Good Day” (original song): No, this isn’t Denmark’s 2019 entrant turning tail (you sing one sentence in German and suddenly you want to represent them instead…). However, much like the other Leonora, this sassy alto’s all about good vibes and sunshine, as demonstrated through her cheerful, brassy original offering (not her Eurovision song, though). It sounds a bit like “What’s the Pressure?” as performed by Lorde during her blonde era, but that’s only a compliment, as far as I’m concerned. This benefits a lot from the live band, which she sadly wouldn’t have at Eurovision (“Damn you, budget concerns!” I curse the heavens), but no matter. A good day turned into a good night for Leonora, because she advanced to the semi-final round.
4. Ni-ka - “The Way You Make Me Feel” (Michael Jackson cover): As we’ve seen at Eurovision many times, sometimes, being unremarkable is worse than being bad. Ni-ka is the definition of competent: a cool, raspy, almost punk-rock kind of voice; a clear love of the stage; and a look that makes me wonder if Demi Lovato moved to Germany recently. However, for all her natural talent, static staging and a song choice that didn’t really do much to help her stand out tanked her chances. In my opinion, Michael Jackson songs need to be banned from talent shows; not just because of the you-know-what, but because covering him is so dead-obvious that you’re dooming yourself to the back of the judges’ minds unless you really knock them out of the park. Ni-ka did not, and the way they made her feel was eliminated.
5. From Fall to Spring - “Control” (original song): You might recognize this band from the ill-fated TikTok heat for Germany’s 2023 selection, where they came second to Ikke Hüftgold, which is a little like having to choose between moldy cheese and a chocolate-chip cookie and then jumping into lava instead. Fortunately, with that disgrace to the hearing far, far away from there, From Fall to Spring were able to shine with their original song “Control.” A dash of Linkin Park if Eminem at his most “lyrical miracle” was the resident rapper, their energy and unique (for Eurovision, unless you count Blind Channel) style got the judges (particularly Yvonne) nodding along, and From Fall to Spring went from the heats to advanced.
6. Noah Levi - “There’s Nothing Holding Me Back” (Shawn Mendes cover): Depending on your perspective, if you’re an affable white dude, Shawn Mendes should either be the first or last artist you ever think about covering. If the goal is to stand out from the pack when your goal is to represent a country of 83.28 million (thanks, Google), Shawn Mendes should occupy a spot between Mayhem and Pat Boone in the grand pantheon of artists you probably should stay away from. Alas, no one told Noah Levi this. Looking every bit like Cody Ko at his douchiest, with a pageboy cut that Thomas Forstener would shake his head disappointedly at, Levi plodded his way gamely through a pitchy rendition of “There’s Nothing Holding Me Back” (a remarkable feat, as this version was actually a step or two lower in key than the original). Contrary to the song’s title, Noah Levi was eliminated.
7. Cloudy June - “Sad Girl Era” (original song): Aren’t we all in one? Actually, contrary to that, the song is about getting out of your “Sad Girl Era,” and it's the first song I wish was an actual potential entry because man is it good. Instantly going on my playlist. Olivia Rodrigo clearly had some impact on Cloudy June, but she brings her own hopeful yet wry tone to this very fun performance. She has the same kind of “girl-next-door” appeal as Raab’s protege Lena did, albeit with more confidence off the jump than even she had. No surprises here: Cloudy June’s sad girl era will remain on hold, because she advanced to the semi-final round.
8. Parallel - “Noi” (original song): Che cosa? Yes, for those of you who appreciate the combination of the world’s most romantic language and its least-romantic, Parallel are here with an original tune in both Italian and German (the video title mentions Turkish as well, but aside from a “hayat,” it would appear they were spared). Unfortunately, they sound much more like Germans speaking Italian than Italians speaking German, and these languages mix like tuna fish and chocolate when you try putting them together in a breezy little song. Not helping matters is our very pitchy lead singer, trying his darndest to put it over but never quite getting there. Mi dispiace, ragazzi: Parallel sono stati eliminati.
9. Moss Kena - “Die with a Smile” (Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars cover): Moss Kena looks a little like if Wrs borrowed James Newman’s coat, but fortunately, he didn’t borrow James Newman’s voice. A jazzy rendition of the Lady Gaga/Bruno Mars hit was a perfect showcase for Kena’s rich tenor voice, and he gave probably one of the best vocal performances of the night, especially his dazzling (but not showy - very difficult to pull off!) vocal theatrics at the song’s end. There isn’t much to say except if his Eurovision song is as good as he is as a performer, Stefan Raab might be onto something good! Moss Kena kept smiling, but he didn’t die: he advanced to the semi-final.
10. Vincent Varus - “Coffee” (original song): Poor Vincent Varus didn’t get the memo that we’re all taken care of for coffee at Eurovision this year. While Tommy Cash may be hopped up on espresso macchiatos, Vinnie’s significantly more laid-back ode to caffeinated mud-water feels like the music you’d hear while buying a coffee…which is to say, decidedly decaf. It’s pleasant rather than perky, but with a much more distinct coffee-related song to compare it to (whether you like it or not), it pales in comparison. That’s not necessarily fair to poor Vinnie V., since this wasn’t even his potential Eurovision entry, but his “frat boy singing along with Jack Johnson” energy didn’t do him any favors. Stefan Raab seemed to enjoy it in the moment, but this brew left the juries cold: Vincent Varus Artists was eliminated.
11. The Great Leslie - “Fix You” (Coldplay cover): I will do my best to listen to this song without thinking of Chris Martin singing it with Ricky Gervais as his fake sitcom character on Extras, but I make no guarantees. Fortunately, The Great Leslie have done their best to ensure that by doing something unforgivable, unheard-of, for a Coldplay song: giving it energy! Sped up and given the modern-rock treatment (they’ve listened to a lot of The Killers, and the lead singer reminds me of Brandon Flowers), they give a really fun, engaging performance that wouldn’t be out of place in an episode of The O.C. The judges were smiling, and so was I. The adventure of a lifetime continues for The Great Leslie, as they’ve advanced.
12. Lyza - “Voilà” (Barbara Pravi cover): One of only two actual Eurovision songs covered across these two heats (no, “Dragostea din tei” isn’t a Eurovision song, although everyone thinks it is), Lyza decided to tackle Barbara Pravi’s virtuosic 2021 runner-up. A tall order, seeing as it’s a tough song to tackle even if you can speak French, but she tackles it with aplomb. When covering a song that isn’t in your native language, it’s easy to forget about expressing the meaning of the lyrics, and Lyza makes sure to put all of “Voila”’s emotions across while also offering her own phrasing and swagger to make it her own. I can’t speak to her French pronunciation, but her performance was tres bien, and the jury agreed: voilà, Lyza, you’ve advanced, completing the lineup for the following week’s semi-final.
So, there’s your belated recap of Chefsache ESC 2025 - The Legend of Curly’s Gold, heat two.
By this point, we already know the finalists (although I deliberately didn’t check again so I have no idea which of the acts that advanced from this heat also made it to the final), and who knows? By the time you read this, maybe we’ll also know Germany’s representative for Basel (probably Feuerschwanz. Haven’t heard their song yet, but…come on! They’re called Feuerschwanz! I’d vote for a band called Feuerschwanz! You know you would too, don’t lie). But this was a well- produced show with a surprisingly pretty diverse array of artists, and it wasn’t hard to understand why the jurors chose the acts to advance that they did, which is my usual sticking point when it comes to selections where the jurors have most of the power. The final choice is in the German public’s hands alone, so here’s hoping they live up to Stefan Raab’s lofty ambitions and pick a song worthy of lifting the crystal microphone in May.