Give That Wolf A Banana - Angel A

Subwoolfer's unique approach to the music industry and their masked identities challenged the notion of "joke acts" often associated with Eurovision. Fans have appreciated their dedication to their characters and the high level of professionalism they bring to their performances, which extends beyond their music into their social media interactions.

Subwoolfer is known for their upbeat pop, electropop, and EDM music, with catchy melodies and driving basslines that are designed to get people moving. Their songs like "Give That Wolf a Banana" are fun, quirky, and have gained popularity for their distinctive style.

The band's humorous approach and use of irony are central to their appeal. They are known for their outlandish backstory about originating on the moon 4.5 billion years ago.  Their stage presence, complete with yellow wolf-head masks, black suits, and yellow gloves, adds to the entertainment value. Their lyrics, especially those of "Give That Wolf a Banana", are filled with absurd and endearing rhymes, and even potential deeper meanings, like a metaphor for the COVID-19 pandemic and the importance of vaccination.

Be My Valentine (Anti-Crisis Girl) - Richard I

Really, what is not to love about this crazy, over-the-top performance? From the barely dressed Roman centurions in three metal wheel-cages (what the…?) to undulating, blond-maned Svetlana Loboda’s pouty-lipped come-hithers, you know you’re in for a ride from the get-go. Amid the swirling light show and bursts of steam, two bewigged giantesses (on hidden platforms) in silver lamé observe from the sides, like figures out of Homer, Lewis Carroll, or Drag Race.

Then the acrobatics begin: a soldier jumps from a great height, whereupon Svetlana is carried aloft then flipped then whipped around dangerously then flipped again, punctuating the sexy Romans’ go-go dancing, which is doubtlessly causing the camera to pulse and blur with their gyrations.

Are we done? No. Svetlana takes her place behind a set of drums — bedecked in two large Ukrainian flags blowing from their own wind — which she then enthusiastically and expertly beats, all while being dragged across the stage by the imperial hunks.

But wait, there are even lyrics to crown this zany gem. Just this taste of the wordcraft seals the song’s immortality:

You are sexy – bom

You are so sexy – bom

Gon' make me crazy – bom

We're gonna do the bom bom

Ain't that amazing – bom

I'm very busy – bom

It's not so easy – bom

I'm gonna tease you – bom bom

Without a reason – bom…

My pride and prejudice

I will just reminisce

These are the things you can't miss

Come on, give me a kiss

Baby, I can save the world

I'm your anti-crisis girl

In all, this frothy absurdity is a Eurovision delight for me. That this was Ukraine’s gift to the 2009 Moscow contest is just icing! Bom!

I Wrote A Song - Rachel G

Mae Muller strutted into Liverpool 2023 with one of my pre-contest favourites - a slick, sassy breakup bop that screamed radio hit. The recorded track had it all: catchy hook, confident attitude, and the kind of chorus you imagine an arena chanting along to. Hopes were sky-high, especially with the home crowd behind her.

And then… the live performance happened. Vocals that never quite landed where they should, staging that somehow felt both busy and empty, and camera shots that made you wonder if the director had wandered off. The attitude was there, but the delivery? Let’s just say it was more “awkward karaoke” than “pop powerhouse.”

The UK had hyped it like it could follow Sam Ryder’s runner-up magic, but instead it limped to second last place, leaving the Liverpool crowd cheering in sympathy more than celebration.

Still, I can’t help loving it - I go back to the studio version all the time. It’s a guilty pleasure in the purest Eurovision sense: a great pop song wrapped in a gloriously messy three minutes of live chaos.

Hope - Alan W

Stefan saddled up in Turin 2022, strapped on his guitar, and rode in with a kitschy spaghetti western banger Hope. For Italy, that’s a pretty bold move - bringing their cinematic export right back to them, Eurovision style.

What we saw was essentially cowboy cosplay: Stefan bounding around the stage, guitar sometimes in hand, sometimes on his back, earnestly rallying the crowd with those “I hope, I hope, I hopes”.

From the very first whistle, it was pure fun - a galloping beat, easy to clap along to, and dangerously catchy. Sure, the vocals struggled a bit once he started roaming the stage, but sometimes Eurovision isn’t about perfection… it’s about a good time and a good singalong.

Estonia might not have many dusty deserts, but I’m convinced Stefan’s out there somewhere, gunslinging, whistling, and wrangling whatever wild beasts roam the Baltic plains. Saddle up for a great song.

If Love Was A Crime - Steve S

I was lucky enough to be at Eurovision in Sweden in 2016, and back then a “Fan” package included 6 nights of Eurovision. How bloody great was that!

I got to see rehearsals, jury semi- finals 1 and 2, TV telecast semi finals 1 and 2, jury grand final, TV broadcast grand final. Six big nights of music, fun and dancing. It was massive.

What I enjoyed most was seeing each artist perform over and over as the week progressed. Some artists got worse, others became ill, and others got a lot better, and some transformed completely. Poli Genova was an artist who improved exponentially each time she performed and it was no surprise that she made the final with this pop number If Love Was A Crime. She had so much energy and enthusiasm every time she took to the stage and I was delighted when she crept up in the betting odds and then finished 4th in the Grand Final!

I remember it was one of my highlights that year and each time I listen to this song, I am transported back to Stockholm 2016.

Vampires Are Alive - Michelle S

This song has been a guilty pleasure for over a decade. It is not a great song - it didn’t make the final. It placed 20th in its semi final and overall 34th that year, so a complete “dud” really.  It has poor vocals, bad costumes, amateurish staging and some silly lyrics, but somehow it still appeals to me.

And several years back, I passed on my passion for this song to my grandkids. We were walking in the afternoon and took a shortcut home that took us through the cemetery. I started singing  “Vampires are alive” and they enjoyed it so much it is now a family classic. Anytime we pass a cemetery or are just mucking around singing our favourite songs, we often burst into this refrain, LOUDLY of course
“ Vampires are alive, the legends have to survive”.

I Don't Feel Hate - Eddy BT

My Eurovision guilty pleasure is the cringefest that was Jendrik's performance of "I Don't Feel Hate" in 2021. Yes, it scored only three points, landing it second to last in the final. Yes, a ukelele solo was involved. And yes, I cringe every time I watch it. But I can't stop watching it! I love every earnest, upbeat, colourful second of it! In a world that often takes itself too seriously, I take great pleasure from this song, even if a little guiltily. 

Crno I Belo - Samuel R

When I think of a Eurovision guilty pleasure, Kaliopi’s performance of “Crno I Belo” immediately comes to mind. This rock bop is what I consider North Macedonia’s best entry ever. Even with Kaliopi’s extreme vocal range, this song just works. The violins back it up beautifully and work great with Kaliopi’s voice. The real robbery here is that this song barely left-sided when it competed in 2012, and it is currently ranked 3rd in North Macedonia’s best results, placing behind Elena Risteska’s “Ninananajna” and Tamara Todevska’s “Proud”.

Thankfully, though, this gem was given the treasured ‘douze pointe’ from fellow Balkan nations Serbia and Bosnia and Herzegovina. That is why this is my guilty pleasure and one of the most underrated Eurovision entries (to me) of the last 70 years.

Mr. Nobody - Aaron P

I certainly do have a Eurovision guilty pleasure, and that is the nearly forgotten entry of Slovenia 2006, Anžej Dežan - Mr Nobody. There was literally no hype about the song at all leading up to the contest, nor did it seem to be anyone's favourite except for mine. At the time I felt like I was truly alone on that one. Especially as I was living in Finland then, where there was a lot of Lordi hype understandably. Mr Nobody's lack of popularity was truly reflected in the scoring in the semifinal as they were not even close to getting through to the final, much to my disappointment. A measly 49 points and 16th place!

This song is a guilty pleasure for me as I look back on it nowadays, and the choreography looks so lame. All the silly moves, which were supposed to be interpreted as dramatic. By the way, I loved it at the time. I probably still do more than I care to admit. But those moves didn't work then, and it definitely wouldn't nowadays either. Nonetheless, it remains one of my favourite Eurovision entries to this day! It was actually my very favourite until it was dethroned by Loreen in 2012 - stereotypical, I know. 

Only Getting Better - Mark U

This song holds a very personal connection, but a guilty pleasure as it came 25th in the final. This catchy song with lyrics about two people in love, which my boyfriend and I at the time often sang along to. So much so that I had that song playing as I got down on bended knee and proposed to him. We even had a very close friend sing the song at our wedding ceremony.   My favorite lyric is “Whenever you're near me, All my days are on the bright side.” A song with hope, growth, and realism. Love to hear it.

Llámame - David D

It’s Eurovision week 2022 and just three months after New Zealand reopened its borders. I was finally free to walk the Portuguese Camino de Santiago, with friends, and my main walking soundtrack was the ESC 2022 playlist.

One song stood out and became my guilty pleasure: Llámame by WRS (Andrei Ursu), Romania’s entry. Earlier in the ESC season I’d recorded an ‘OGAE good luck message for Romania’. I loved the song’s playful Spanish influence and the irresistible rhythm. It was impossible not to smile as I walked through Portuguese villages, the beat keeping time with my steps.

That week, I also discovered WRS’s EP, packed with great tracks for walking and trekking – music that turned long stretches of the Camino into my own private Eurovision cocoon.

Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday of Eurovision week, I remember rushing through dinner to catch the broadcasts in time. Saturday was cutting it fine as the TV wouldn’t work. When I called the front desk and explained this .. the person said Eurovision? Someone was fixing the TV within two minutes!

Was Llámame the most technically brilliant song that year? Probably not. Did it make me smile every single time it came on? Absolutely. That’s the beauty of a Eurovision guilty pleasure – it doesn’t need to be perfect; it just needs to capture a moment, a mood, and a smile. For me, Llámame will always be the sound of coastal northern Portugal, sunshine, and the joy of finally walking the Camino.

Horoscopes - Danie T

Feeling a bit overwhelmed and confused right now? Wanting to spill all the tea or confess a secret? Are people from the past suddenly coming out of the woodwork? Well, it could be because we’re just exiting a Mercury Retrograde in Leo… or we’ve just had a run a bad luck in a world that’s gone mad.

Yes hello, I’m an astrology girlie, and you can blame it all on my Moon in Sagittarius.

Way back in 1981, Ireland sent the trio Sheeba, whose song “Horoscopes” warned those who followed the fortunes foretold by a short paragraph in the local paper. And to be honest as someone who uses this method to understand personality types, you should never put your faith - or fate - in the hands of someone who puts you into one category of twelve. People are complex, and so is astrology.

So, Virgos, if someone writes in the paper that you’re going to be hit by a bus today, take that with a grain of salt. Late August and early September have the highest birthrates in most countries, and it would take a lot of buses to hit you all at the same time.

For me, this is a bit of fun, wrapped up in silver sparkly costumes and cheesy choreography. I’ll even forgive them for blanking on Geminis and Sagittarians in the lyrics.

This song, and astrology, is my guilty pleasure… or it could just be my Venus in Gemini seeking mental stimulation.

The Lucky One - Julie DP

I love this cheese-fest of a ballad. It has everything a girl could want: ridiculously cliched lyrics, gravely vocals, an overly emotional fully belted chorus,a dramatic and sexy video where the protagonist learns nothing. I sing this for karaoke ALL the time. This would have been an adult contemporary hit in the United States without a doubt, and I would have been excited to hear it while waiting in the lobby at the dentist. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC06nyML2xg

Echo (You and I) - Wayne R

What’s guilty about this classic Eurovision banger, you ask?

Well, the real crime was the voting: 0 points from the public and a 22nd‑place finish out of 26. Guilty as charged.

I’ll defend poor Anggun (and her traveling troupe of gymnasts) until the end. Because let’s be honest: Anggun sweeping onto that Baku stage in her copper corset and flowing taffeta cape, hair blowing like she’d just stepped out of a L’Oréal commercial, belting “you and I!” — that was pure camp Eurovision gold. She's a true star, done dirty by the fickle Eurovision voting apparatus.

Sure, the vocals occasionally went off script occasionally, the staging was a little one‑note, and France hyped it like it was destined for the top 5… only for it to crash and burn near the bottom.

So why a guilty pleasure? Because knowing all that, I still can’t resist. It’s the perfect cocktail of iconic diva energy, borderline cheesy staging, and those “oh, they really thought this was going to win” vibes. And yes, I keep coming back to it, including in my dreams ;)

Be My Guest - Kevin F

When Eurovision Met Whitney: The Performance That Should Have Been

Picture this: A powerhouse vocalist emerges in a dress that looks like it was crafted from the dreams of a thousand car washes, complete with a floral crown that screams "I am the May Queen!" Gaitana's "Be My Guest" should have been Eurovision gold – instead, it is simply criminally underappreciated.

The track itself is what would happen if a gospel choir, a dance club, and a Ukrainian festival had a musical baby. Gaitana's vocals soar with the kind of authenticity that makes most Eurovision divas sound like they're doing karaoke in comparison. Yet somehow, this gem landed in the "forgotten bops" category of Eurovision history, proving that sometimes even an obvious camp classic can get overlooked.

The real tragedy isn't just the performance's underwhelming reception – it's that this song isn't being performed in every drag brunch from Kyiv to Key West. In an era of Eurovision where "ethnic fusion" usually means adding a folk flute to generic pop, Gaitana served genuine cultural pride with a side of pure vocal talent.

Firefly - David R

This might be one of the most forgotten entries in Eurovision. But I really love this song. It’s sweet and somehow reminds me of musical theatre music which I like as well. This is also giving me mixed feelings of happiness and some sadness at the same time, which is difficult to describe. The performance is more on the simpler side as well, which does fit the song. I think Christina’s vocals are not powerful enough for the song. That probably made her not qualify for the Grand Final. I wished his brother, who is the better singer and the writer of this song, performed this one instead. He might have given this song a better chance to qualify. I am also glad that Eurovision’s Youtube channel recently uploaded a higher quality version of this performance. This is indeed a guilty pleasure for me.

Moustache - Steven L

Twin Twin's Moustache is my Eurovision guilty pleasure for sure! Despite them coming in last for the grand final that year, it's still a song that I have no shame in blasting up full volume while I'm working out, and singing what little broken French I can.

The music video makes me laugh, and their live performance is just silly, so all in all, it puts a smile on my face, and I have no shame in admitting that I still vibe with this song!

Cry Baby - Evan S

Ask any British Eurofan and they’ll tell you that Jemini’s “Cry Baby” is the bottom of the barrel for British Eurovision entries. And points-wise, they’re demonstrably correct. It doesn’t get worse than last place with nul points! When the UK, home to 5 Eurovision winners and a record 16 runners-up, managed nul points with Jemini in 2003, it prompted a national debate as to how this could have happened. Some assumed that Europe hadn’t voted for the UK because of their involvement in the Iraq War; others pointed out that Jemini was off-key for a significant portion of the performance. With the passing of time, the latter has become the accepted explanation, leaving Jemini to be viewed as a national embarrassment. But…

“Cry Baby” is actually a bop?! The song has a classic turn-of-the-millennium club beat. The chorus is catchy. The choreo is lovably lame. It reminds me a bit of Steps, who some Eurofans would still love to see at Eurovision; thus, it does speak to the local music scene. Since their glory days ended with the 20th Century, the UK has sent so many well-sung but unbelievably bland—in other words, “nice”—entries to the contest. But “nice” is boring. I’d take a Scooch or Jemini any day over a snoozy performance by Jessica Garlick (somehow, 3rd place in 2002) or an Andrew Lloyd Webber jumpscare in a D-grade Disney ballad (Jade Ewen, 5th in 2009).

So yes, I’ll sheepishly admit: Jemini’s “Cry Baby” slaps. 

Zaleilah - Niall D

My standout guilty pleasure is Zaleilah by Mandinga who represented Romania at Eurovision in 2012 in Baku.  The song is Latin influenced and sung in both English and Spanish.  Clearly Mandinga went with the premise “more is more” when writing the song and included as many instruments as possible including marching drums, bagpipes, accordions and trumpets. 

The same “more is more” approach was used in the performance which saw the band members marching around the stage with the various instruments to a backdrop of images of moving drums and beating hearts along with pyrotechnics going off every at intervals with choreographed dance moves.  The performance was three minutes of pure fun!  You can check it out here.

Baby Baby - Alan T

uilty Pleasures?

A hard question, because over the years, I've collected way more than 20! But let's set aside my #2 for a moment: Yugoslavia’s iconic entry at Eurovision 1991, "Brazil" performed by Bebi Dol (real name: Dragana Šarić). Droll, dramatic, and undeniably memorable song.

Now onto my #1 guilty pleasure, a true gem that ended up… last! Yes, dead last with 58 points, a song which ended last place, meaning it's the best last place ESC song for me!

The year was 1968, and the artist was Claude Lombard, representing Belgium with a hauntingly beautiful performance. Later, she became a backing vocalist for none other than Nicole & Hugo, the duo originally selected to represent Belgium in 1971 with the bubbly “Goeiemorgen morgen.” Sadly, due to Nicole’s illness, they couldn’t make the trip to Dublin that year.

But fear not, they came back stronger in 1973 with the unforgettable …..”Baby Baby”, my ultimate guilty pleasure. They were trailblazers, the first Eurovision act to truly sing and dance at the same time. And let’s not forget those now iconic flared purple jumpsuits and tightly choreographed moves. Camp, charisma, and colour, what more could you want?

Nicole Josy (real name: Nicole Van Pamel) and Hugo Sigal met in 1970 and married a year later. Their love story lasted more than five decades, until Nicole’s passing on 4 November 2022, at the age of 76.

Their legacy? A joyful reminder that Eurovision isn’t just about winning, sometimes, the heart remembers what the scoreboard forgets.

Bonus info: Nicole & Hugo’s Eurovision journey didn’t end in the '70s. In 2004, a full 29 years after “Baby Baby”, they gave it another shot, entering the Flemish pre-selections for the Eurovision Song Contest with the feel-good track “Love Is All Around.”

They placed second in the first round, a respectable result that showed they still had fans cheering them on. But despite their enduring charm and iconic presence, the jury wasn’t as kind. Their low jury score meant they didn’t advance to the final round. Still, the attempt alone was a testament to their lasting passion for music and performance.

Even decades after their glittery debut, Nicole & Hugo continued to bring joy, sparkle, and a touch of Eurovision magic.

In 2004, they tried again, after 29 years, at the Eurovision Song Contest. They entered the Flemish pre-selections, with "Love is all Around". They placed second in the first round, but scored lowly with the jury, so failed to make it to the final round.